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Well I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday! As I had mentioned before we had an in home dementia evaluation done. My brother had received a letter from my mother's doctor regarding his recommendations, and he gave me a copy.
It was nice to read from the doctor that he felt my brother and I were taking the appropriate actions towards my mother. He had also mentioned what I'm sure most that deal with dementia patients do at first, and that is clearly 'resistance'. My mother is warming up to this reality slowly but surely.
I had to go over to my mother's house after the in home assessment, because it looked to me as if she was hoarding food. The refrigeration and freezer were packed, and the cabinets were just as full. I don't think she was hoarding as the condition you read about, because I don't think she knew what she had and what she didn't. I have read that hoarding with dementia patients also makes them feel secure. It was the in home evaluation that called my attention to this circumstance.
I went over to clear out the kitchen, and I only got as far as the refrigerator, freezer, and one cabinet. I had 9 to 10 black garbage bags full of either spoiled or expired food.
I tried to keep the conversation light as we worked, and asked her to wash down the shelves as I emptied them in the refrigerator. I figured it would keep her busy, and she wouldn't question every last item I pulled out. I will say after a while she just gave up, and went along with anything I dumped. I don't think she realized HOW much she had.
I didn't comment, didn't ask questions, I just whistled as I worked. YES I mean that literally. I wanted to be sure she saw absolutely no stress in my posture or attitude.
At times I could tell she was getting worried, and I just joked about how often I have found food I forgot about myself. Then I made a joke to her that since my house is now full of teenagers? I have to admit the food doesn't spoil anymore it just disappears before I get one bite. My mother just giggled, and told me she remembers those days herself.
I would move to one lighthearted subject to the next. I remember reminding her about her comments about her food bill after David went to college. I made a joke, "How many hundreds of dollars per month did that food bill go down MOM?"
I put all the food that could go back in order of expiration dates. I reminded her about 2 years ago she had a repairman into the house, and he left her garage door opened to the house. How after that it took how much time to figure out how to get rid of the mice that welcomed themselves in?
I used that as the excuse to get rid of any open packages that were questionable. I reminded her that mice love open packages, and its not worth getting sick over to keep them. I knew that would gross her out completely, and it worked as well. I can't tell you if that were the case - mice being the food - but it did need to be thrown out.
I last thing I would want to do is embarrass her for any reason. Its not her that is the issue after all. Its the damned dementia, and I think going out of my way to show her respect is needed. I think anyone would feel funny if someone came to their house to dump close to 90% of the food they had in the house. I could also see her mind working, and to be honest I think it may have been a good wake up call for her.
I do have to go back, and continue with the rest of the cabinets and her deep freezer. I wanted to at least get done with the parts I KNEW she used every day.
I had my reminder call about the dementia as well.
"Hannah? When are you giving me your Christmas list?"
"David has done your shopping already MOM!"
She asked this about 5 times while I was there.
My son's birthday was at the beginning of the month, and he is saving for a Xbox. He asked for Best Buy gift cards. Right after Thanksgiving I had mentioned this to her, and she went to the store. She purchased a pile of gift cards, and placed $5.00 each on them. She didn't want to forget his birthday, and I could tell she knew she would. She brought them over to my house, and told me to give them to him the morning of his birthday. You have to wonder if the number of the gift cards wasn't a hoarding circumstance as well.
She tells me later that she wished I had told her about his birthday, because she would have given him more. We have Christmas dinner here at the house, and she told my mother in law she wasn't sure she did anything for his birthday.
I have read in the past that the hoarding at times is not only due to the dementia, but it also gives them a sense of security.
That made perfect sense to me when I think back to my grandmother, and how her top drawer was always full of tissues. I will admit right now my grandmother was a pack rat by nature, but in the Alzheimer's unit there wasn't do much to grab. The kleenex was just something she grabbed, and she will tell you it was because she wanted to be sure she had enough. We all took turns dumping most of them when we got her out of the room.
My mother knows her mind is going. I'm sure she also stocked up on food to be sure she didn't go hungry. That is another reason we want her to have home health care, and she will soon enough. I have also noticed that she is losing even more weight, and the home health care worker will help with diet as well.
She asked for 3 - 4 evaluations to be done JUST to be sure its dementia, and we have them at this point. My brother is taking her for her drivers test which they are calling a rehab evaluation test at a hospital. I have this gut feeling her driver's license will go soon, and I will remind her that her that an home health care worker will drive her places as well.
I found an article about Hoarding and the Dementia Patient. I will leave you with some of the article.
And according to Susan London, LMSW, QDCP with the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, many times hoarding does demonstrate a need for comfort because of the deep fears and anxiety experienced by some patients.
Others will hold on to items because they fear their memories will be lost without that tangible evidence of the past. As Alzheimer’s patients lose track of what is going on in the present, those items could become more and more important.
Dr. Bolouri says hoarding behavior is most likely due to insecurity, anger, and confusion as brain function is decreasing. And London, at the Alzheimer’s Foundation, agrees, adding that a loved one may take things that aren’t theirs because they like it for the comfort, memories, or because it calms those fears and anxieties.
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