My Mother's Journey With Dementia

Stigma Of Alzheimer Dementia

It has been a few years since I have had to directly deal with Alzheimer I have been doing a little catching up lately.  Sadly, I have found that some things have changed, and others just stay the same.

My Father in Law had dementia, but he passed away from other complications.  I remember when we first got his diagnoses, and my mother in law was adamant that dementia was different than Alzheimer.

To this day I have to still speak about 'similarities', and treat them as different. To her the 'forgetfulness' is different somehow. I don't know what the reason was, because I stopped even going there.  I had the first taste of someone truly having issues coming to grips with how Dementia and Alzheimer's were NOT connected in her eyes, and of course the stigma attached.

I have had loads of experience just going with the flow compared to reality when it comes to dealing with this disease.  I went with the flow of her opinion as well.  That it truly didn't bother me just to treat them as separate for her sake.  Its not worth fighting about it, because everyone deals with this in their own way.

I will admit it did hurt when she would remind me it wasn't like my family with Alzheimer's.  She never would have meant it to be hurtful, but at the time I do remember taking a bit personally.  No, I don't think she ever knew in past or even knows presently. I don't take it that way now.  It was a bit fresh back then.

Since my father in law never got the point of my family members with the progression of the disease?  I think it just easier for her.  I'm sure part of it was from the fear of watching what was happening in my family.

Cute Driving PICTURE!  Tee hee!

I was doing a bit of reading about the dementia patient and driving again. Recently, I found Alzheimer's reading room. and the site presented a podcast about driving and the dementia patient. Carole B. Larkin is the Geriatric Care Manager for ThirdAge Services, specializing in all forms dementia care.

When we had an in home dementia evaluation we also had a Geriatric Care Manager come to our home. Carole is from Dallas Texas, and that is where my mother whom has dementia was born.

Anyway, here is the podcast about when its time to stop the dementia patient from driving.

Well I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday! As I had mentioned before we had an in home dementia evaluation done. My brother had received a letter from my mother's doctor regarding his recommendations, and he gave me a copy.

It was nice to read from the doctor that he felt my brother and I were taking the appropriate actions towards my mother. He had also mentioned what I'm sure most that deal with dementia patients do at first, and that is clearly 'resistance'. My mother is warming up to this reality slowly but surely.

I had to go over to my mother's house after the in home assessment, because it looked to me as if she was hoarding food. The refrigeration and freezer were packed, and the cabinets were just as full. I don't think she was hoarding as the condition you read about, because I don't think she knew what she had and what she didn't.  I have read that hoarding with dementia patients also makes them feel secure.  It was the in home evaluation that called my attention to this circumstance.

I went over to clear out the kitchen, and I only got as far as the refrigerator, freezer, and one cabinet. I had 9 to 10 black garbage bags full of either spoiled or expired food.

I tried to keep the conversation light as we worked, and asked her to wash down the shelves as I emptied them in the refrigerator. I figured it would keep her busy, and she wouldn't question every last item I pulled out. I will say after a while she just gave up, and went along with anything I dumped. I don't think she realized HOW much she had.

In Home Dementia Assessment

My mother's doctor had ordered a home evaluation due to her dementia.  The business card basically reads, "Geriatric Care Management".

It was very tastefully done, and you could tell the woman that came went out of her way to make sure mother was comfortable.  I did truly appreciate the women that did the dementia evaluation. 

We should have the in home Dementia assessment by the end of next week, and both my brother and I got the impression it will validate our fears.

She did mention that mother is very high functioning, and yet in some very basic areas she is struggling.

The dementia assessor asked for permission to look into her refrigerator and cabinets within the kitchen.  I could tell my mother agreed thinking she truly had nothing to hide.

She has enough food for a family of 5 for 2 months, and then some.  I noticed 2 partial 1/2 gallons of milk, and both had expired last month.

After the dementia assessment was over I asked my brother to check the deep freezer downstairs, and it was in the same shape.

Tomorrow I will go back, and we will dump stuff together.