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I have to admit I have been in the car with my mother, and so far she hasn't scared me.
I remember going to visit my grandparents for vacation when I was younger, and my grandmother could scare the daylights out of anyone driving. Heck that was BEFORE the Alzheimer! I was adult by the time her condition of Alzheimer's changed things, and we always drove after that until they finally took her driving privileges away.
According to the letter I received from my mother's doctor he doesn't seem to think mom should be driving at all.
Mom is a very social creature, and she has always participated in church, AARP functions, and once my father passed away a senior grief group. She also gets her hair done on a regular basis.
We recently had a new major road in our area completed, and it saves us time for travel at this point. During the Christmas dinner family members were telling her about the road, but I'm sure at this point if she continues to drive? She will stick to what she is familiar with.
Tomorrow my brother is taking her to a rehab evaluation test for driving at a hospital. He told her that this will either keep her insurance rates 'as is', or possibly reduce them. That maybe true, but we all know the real reason behind this.
My brother called to see how this all works, and they told him they only report directly to the doctor. I have to admit my heart dropped when I heard that. I mentioned the doctor's opinion on the subject already.
This is going to completely crush her. Although it will be an additional reason to encourage her for the home health care worker. She can retain her social activities, because a home health care worker can drive her.
Nora Nagatani wrote an article about the 'older driver', and she has some good links for additional information. Check it out! WebMD also had a older driver video online that I think most of us can relate to when it comes to the Dementia or Alzheimer's driver. Also ABC news had an article about WHEN is the best time to take away the driving privileges of the dementia patient or the Alzheimer's patient.
I have to admit I'm struggling over this issue as well. My grandmother was an easy decision, because she scared me driving in the car with her. My mother's driving so far doesn't scare me at all. I do realize that the day is coming of course, but I guess it will be up to the doctor at this point. I do think my brother doesn't want her to drive anymore, and if there is any hint of 'maybe' for a while? I think I could be voted out of this decision due to the doctor and my brother being in agreement.
I have to admit I am questioning myself, and wonder if truly I'm just in denial. Sigh.
From another article I read about dementia and driving:
The Academy's previous guidelines recommended that all people with mild dementia give up driving, Iverson says. But recent studies present a conundrum, he says. "On the one hand, there is research showing people with dementia are up to 88% more likely to fail a driving test than people without dementia," Iverson says. "On the other hand, some studies show as many as 76% of people with mild dementia can pass an on-road driving test and can safely drive."
Faced with the conflicting research, the guidelines committee concludes that "patients with mild dementia should strongly consider stopping driving," he says.
The guidelines can help identify people at higher risk of unsafe driving, without unnecessarily restricting people who don't pose a danger, he says.
In creating the guidelines, the committee generally defined safe driving as being able to pass a road test. "It's not a perfect measure, but based on the evidence, it's the best we have," Iverson says.
YES YES it does say that 'mild dementia' can still retain safe driving habits - at least for a while. The second part made me question my decision:
One of the best ways to identify unsafe drivers, according to the guidelines, is a standard test called the Clinical Dementia Rating (CDR) scale. Administered by a doctor with input from caregivers, the CDR assesses people's memory and problem-solving skills as well as their ability to care for themselves.
I do believe I'm being perfectly honest in my opinion on my mother's driving skills. I have been watching, and ready to 'freak out' due the fact I know this reality is coming sooner compared to later.
Caregivers can be extremely helpful in identifying unsafe drivers -- but only if they're honest, Iverson says. "If a caregiver says, 'I'm concerned,' or rates a patient's driving as 'marginal' or 'unsafe,' that really pans out," he says.
But studies show that caregivers who deem their loved one's driving as "safe" are rarely accurate, "probably because they are trying to protect the patient," Iverson says.
"And if a patient himself says their driving is fine, that doesn't help. In fact, the strongest evidence we found is that this doesn't correlate with safe driving," he says.
She has a clean driving record, and always has had that. I would say about 5 years ago she stated driving at night is uncomfortable for her, and she will try to avoid it.
I know of other elderly family members without dementia that do the same thing. They state that is one of the 'red flags', but that started years ago.
I have been in cars when relatives have scared me to death while driving, and according the comment from the article above? Am I trying to protect her? I guess the comment made me doubt myself. I do know that the day is coming, and there is no way around that. I don't want her to kill herself or anyone else.
On the one hand I think its to early, and on the other hand? How easy will it be once that line in the sand is present? Since circumstances prolong the restrictions at times do I just go with the program, and encourage her to stop? Is my love for my mother clouding my judgment? IS it my fear? Can I be blunt and just say this SUCKS! (sorry for the swear word - I'm frustrated with myself and this circumstance)
When I spoke to my brother the other day I did complain to him that we have been through this 3 times already, and WHY is God asking us to do this again? I do resent it. Its hard for the family, and its really hard to have to break their hearts for their own good and safety. I can see why depression is common in dementia patients.
Driving and the dementia patient is a hard decision. Its heart breaking either way you go.
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