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| Stigma Of Alzheimer Dementia |
It has been a few years since I have had to directly deal with Alzheimer I have been doing a little catching up lately. Sadly, I have found that some things have changed, and others just stay the same.
My Father in Law had dementia, but he passed away from other complications. I remember when we first got his diagnoses, and my mother in law was adamant that dementia was different than Alzheimer.
To this day I have to still speak about 'similarities', and treat them as different. To her the 'forgetfulness' is different somehow. I don't know what the reason was, because I stopped even going there. I had the first taste of someone truly having issues coming to grips with how Dementia and Alzheimer's were NOT connected in her eyes, and of course the stigma attached.
I have had loads of experience just going with the flow compared to reality when it comes to dealing with this disease. I went with the flow of her opinion as well. That it truly didn't bother me just to treat them as separate for her sake. Its not worth fighting about it, because everyone deals with this in their own way.
I will admit it did hurt when she would remind me it wasn't like my family with Alzheimer's. She never would have meant it to be hurtful, but at the time I do remember taking a bit personally. No, I don't think she ever knew in past or even knows presently. I don't take it that way now. It was a bit fresh back then.
Since my father in law never got the point of my family members with the progression of the disease? I think it just easier for her. I'm sure part of it was from the fear of watching what was happening in my family.
When I read about a story of a care giving organization not having ONE person show up at their event called, 'National Memory Screening Day'? It didn't surprise me at all. YES there is denial about this disease, and people don't want to think about it. Looking from their prospective? I can't blame them.
The disease changes your life forever. The costs are present in every area of your life. Who would want to come to an event, and be handed news that would be life changing as you sat in their folding chair? I will admit I'm not sure I would even be that brave!
If you look at life, and how people handle things at times it doesn't surprise me. Lets look at some familiar 'denial' type of statements outside of the dementia realm:
THAT will never happen to my son or daughter.
My church doesn't have that issue!
My all time favorite that I heard from my childhood friend's mother after her son got suspended from school? "My son didn't know if you turn off the lunchroom lights a food fight STARTS?!"
Ahh Yes we can do the denial game with so much less on our plates why not Alzheimer! (giggles)
I think after my mother in law saw all the circumstances we had to deal with? I guess it would be easy to say its just dementia and not Alzheimer. I can't blame her. My father in law died in the very early stages of dementia, and thankfully she didn't have to deal with most of the nightmares that can come with it.
Why not stay in her state of mind when you don't have to go there, and deal with the stigma that is attached to this? I can't blame her. I wish I could do it!
I will next give you a reader digest version of my grandfather, and that nightmare journey dealing with his Alzheimer's. When you look at his story alone? I wouldn't want to purposely deal with it either.
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